Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Don't Just Do Something, Stand There!

When our kids are conscious they move. They move constantly. Whether it be bouncing, jumping, rocking, climbing, kicking, running, etc... These kids are always on the move.

I have, however, discovered one thing that is guaranteed to stop the kids dead in their tracks.

Spilled beverages!

I swear to God, when a cup spills, it's like they turn into Opposums or something. They just stand still looking at you. Like a deer in the headlights. It's almost as if they can't really comprehend what they are seeing. "The juice has fallen out of my cup! How can this be? My mind is reeling!"

I wonder how long they would keep it up. Maybe next time it happens we should all pack up real quick and go to bed. Wouldn't it be interesting if we woke up in the morning to find the child was still standing catatonic next to their spilled juice?

They usually need a jump start to get moving. Something like, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GO GET A TOWEL!"

At this point you can see the life coming back into their glazed eyes. "HELLO!? HELLO?! GET GOING! YOU NEED A TOWEL!"

They start to move, but very slowly. They can walk but still need time to snap out of it. "TOWEL! TOWEL! GET A TOWEL!"

You can see a look in their eyes that says, "Towel? What is this 'towel' you speak of?"

"AAAAAARRGH! OVER THERE! OVER THERE! GET A TOWEL!" I swear these kids could be standing on a mountain of towels with towels raining down from the sky and still not be able to find one.

Eventually the child arrives with the towel, just in time to soak up any remaining drops that didn't have time to evaporate yet, adding yet another spot to our juice stained carpet.

Finally the child walks away, still slightly stunned, and says something like, "Daaaaaad? Can I have some juice?"

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