Friday, October 27, 2006

My Dog Has Fleas!!

There is a certain little song that you've probably heard at some point in your life. It's totally idiotic and I can't really reference where I've heard it but it goes like:

"My Dog Has Fleas!"

I have no idea where this stupid little phrase originated but I've been working on a similar tune for the last couple of days. It goes a little like this: "My Kids Have Lice!" Has a nice ring to it, right? "My Kids Have Lice!"

Makes for a pretty funny song however there is nothing funny about kids with lice. Maybe I should change that statement. There is nothing funny about MY kids with lice.

That's right, on Wednesday night instead of enjoying a nice stress-inducing evening of window repair I was battling a plague of pestilence in my own living room.

It all started when I was blow drying Number Two's hair. She said her ear was itchy. Always the positive thinker, my first thought was, "Oh No! LICE!"

I turned off the blow dryer parted the hair above her ear and found a friggin swarm of disgust (SILENT SCREAM). OK, swarm of disgust might be a little over the top, but you have to cut me some slack, this was my first encounter with lice.

After this I went and checked the other two kids and confirmed that I indeed had the complete set of (3) Licey Head Girls. That's just great! I can only assume that I am also one of the unclean. UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!!

So what do I do now? Jules has the van at work until 11:30pm and it was already almost bedtime for the kids. I figured I may as well spread the good news so I fired a text off to Jules. After she mentioned the text to her supervisor Jules got sent home from work (UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!) and was able to pick up 'the cure' (I have no idea what it was called) and some lice combs.

It turned out that Jules and I were both lice free (for now, cross your fingers). We were then able to treat the kids at a reasonable hour before bed which was a huge relief. I thought lice were gross before I'd seen any but now, after cleaning them out of someone elses hair, I can say for a fact that they are even grosser than I thought. During the combing process I bet I picked at least 30 lice off of my shirt (SHUDDER!).

The next day the kids stayed home from school because Number One was still showing lots of licey activity on her melon. The first stuff Jules got was some non-chemical stuff that seals the lice and cuts off oxygen. Today she went and got the real deal, Nix! Stuffed full of chemically goodness! She treated all of the kids with the Nix and cleaned all the household crap that needed to get cleaned and as of last night things seemed to be under control.

Now we get to look forward to a week of combing for nits followed by another Nix wash. Not to mention the countless hours spent itching my head and thinking I have lice. UNCLEAN!! UNCLEAN!!

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