Monday, January 07, 2008

I Hate Baths!

Our shower head has had a small crack in it for a while now. It was working alright, but sometimes when you moved it a high pressure stream of water would shoot out sideways. If you moved it a little bit more it stopped.

Yesterday Jules told me that it was spraying water out the side. I assumed that it was the same old story and that a little twist would have things all fixed up. That being the case, I immediately forgot all about it.

Until this morning.

I got out of bed at 6:30 and trudged to the bathroom to have a shower. I turned on the water and pulled the knob to engage the shower and found myself getting sprayed in the head with water. There was another good sized stream of water shooting over my head and across the bathroom.

Oh yeah, the shower head is screwing up!

Right away I could see that this was much more water than I was used to seeing coming out of the side. I tried twisting the head around a bit, but all this did was spray the water in different directions.

I then turned off the shower. Once the water was no longer shooting everywhere I could clearly see that there was a much bigger crack in the shower head and that no amount of twisting was going to fix it.

It looked like I was going to have a bath instead of a shower.

I hate baths.

The only time I take a bath is when I'm sick and in those cases I'm not doing it to get clean, I'm doing it to make myself feel better.

I sat down in the tub and waited for the water to fill up. While I was doing this I noticed all sorts of debris floating around with me. A few hairs, a bit of sock lint from between my toes (at least that's what I hope it was) and other tiny unidentifiable things. Mmmmm Tasty! These were all things that would be washed down the drain if I was having a shower. When you have a bath they stick around till the end.

I noticed that I had the urge to pee. Another great advantage of the shower. In a shower you just let it out and down the drain it goes. Not so with the bath. In the bath you have to hold it in.

I washed my hair next. You never realize just how small the bath tub is until you try and submerge your head in the water. I pretty much had to put my feet up on the wall at the head of the tub to get this done. All the while I was wondering how many of those floating objects were now lodged in my hair.

I then grabbed the soap to give the ole bod a wash. I looked at the bar and noticed that it was covered in tiny little hairs. Leg hairs! I come across this from time to time when I have a shower after Jules has been shaving. Usually not a big deal. I rinse it off and away it goes down the drain, never to come into contact with my body. This time all I was able to do was move the tiny hairs from the bar of soap to the to the water in which I was soaking.

After this I was finished. I got out of the tub and dried myself off. After the water had all drained out of the tub I saw the remnants of my bath. There was enough hair in there to make a small wig. Ewwww!

I'm not sure if I was much cleaner that I was before I started. As far as I could tell all I did was water down my filth and the filth from the tub and evenly distribute it all over my body.

Gak! I hate baths!

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