Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Tuesday's Gone...Or Maybe That's Just What It Wants You To Think!

I have recently become aware of a silent menace that has been lurking in the shadows of our lives unnoticed for far too long. Today I'm shining a big spotlight on this evil entity.

I'm talking about Tuesday!

Tuesday is the biggest shit day of the week and nobody seems to realize it! It has us all fooled!

I didn't pick up on it myself until one of my co-workers walked past my door yesterday muttering, "Goddamn Tuesday!"

Upon first hearing these words I just dismissed it as a dude having a crappy day. Then I started to think about it a little more and realized that he was really on to something. Tuesday is truly the biggest asshole of the week!

On Wednesday you can at least console yourself somewhat by saying, "Well, I'm halfway through the week." It's not much but it's something.

Thursday is like the Friday of Friday. It's almost not even a day of it's own. In fact Thursday could just be renamed to "The Day before Friday" or "Friday Eve". Thursdays entire reputation is built on it's association with Friday. It's hard to bad-mouth Thursday because you know that Friday is just around the corner. You're on the homestretch of the work week.

Then there is Friday.

There is no better weekday than good old Friday. On Friday all you think about is how great the weekend is going to be. You might totally waste your weekend by sitting around or doing housework or something but on Friday you don't know that yet. As far as you know you could have the greatest adventure of your life tomorrow.

Saturday is the payoff for a week of working for the Man. Saturday is all about doing what you want to do. Your the boss on Saturday. You can dress like a slob. Grooming becomes optional. Saturday is "Do What You Want" day. It is the climax to the week.

Sunday is a pretty good day as well, though not as good as Saturday. You can still do what you want on a moderate level, but you also have to take care of any chores or errands that you didn't get done on Saturday. As Sunday progresses an ominous shadow falls on the day as you realized that Monday is coming.

Monday is usually the day that everyone hates. I think this is a little unfair. At least you are reasonably rested up. You might have some stories to relate to your coworkers about the past weekend. Hell, you can usually eat up a good part of your Monday morning with just catching up. You can kind of ease back into the week on Monday.

Sometimes you can even get the day off on Monday. How many long weekends fall on a Monday? See? At least Monday tries to help you out every now and then. How often do you get Tuesday off for a holiday? Not very often and when it does it's a pain in the ass. Who wants one day off in the middle of the week? Fucking Tuesday can't do anything right!!

If Monday was a piece of shit, Tuesday would be the stink that lingered behind it. You have no catching up to do, you aren't rested up anymore and Friday is so far away that it's best not to even think about it. Yet Tuesday has been getting away scot-free, week after week. I'm pretty sure it snickers at us behind our backs. We're all in such a state of shock after dealing with Monday that we completely ignore just how shitty Tuesday really is.

When was the last time you heard someone say, "Sweet! It's finally Tuesday! I thought it would never arrive!"? I'll tell you when. NEVER!

Well for me at least Tuesday is the new Monday. I can deal with Monday. I know it's coming but I can take it. After all I have two days to get ready for it.

There is no preparing for Tuesday. Tuesday is the asshole who jumps out of a crowd after a fight and kicks the loser in the head when he's down.

Well I've got my blinders off now and I'm going to be keeping an eye on Tuesday from now on!


Kris said...

Absolutely awesome post. Probably my favorite one of yours yet!

Heather said...

I agree! You nailed this one! I feel a certain low grade hatred for Tuesdays too! I just never knew what it was until you figured it out. I always say "Ugh, it's only Tuesday? Blah!"

MadWoman Meg said...

See now, while I agree with you about Tuesday to a certain extent - I have to mention my dislike of Thursday. It's like that girl that walks past a group of construction workers over and over again .... a tease. It's past the mid week hump, but it's just teasing you like "nah nah nah nah nah it's not the weekend yet"

Anyway. Good post though. I'll be back to read more.