Excuses, Excuses, Excuses!

Today at work one of the staff called to say she wouldn't be able to come in today. This is a person that started here last Tuesday. So far I think she has had 6 shifts. Last Friday she was complaining that she didn't want to work until 9pm. She also said she didn't think there should be a shift ending at 9pm on a Friday. Then she went home for her hour dinner break. She called at the end of her break to say that she was sick!! What are the chances?

Yesterday she called to say that some relative from out of town was sick and she had to go and help tend to this sick relative. Now today she calls and says that she is sick!! I don't know about you but I have a feeling she might just not want to work.

This got me to thinking about the days when I used to work at Safeway. I used to call in to say I wouldn't be able to make it to work but I had really imaginative reasons for not coming in. Everybody and their dog calls in sick. Don't pretend you haven't made that call with the weak pathetic voice saying, 'mmmmm...I'm not going to be able to come in today..moan...moan. I'm not feeling very well...cough..cough."

That is so standard that nobody believes it. I figured the least I could do was think up a good story for not making it.

Once I called from an outside 7-11 pay phone. I told them that I was in Winnipeg with some friends and that we had gotten into a car accident and there was no way I was going to be able to make it back in time to get to work. See! It is just different enough that nobody would think it was a made-up excuse.

Another time I called and said that I'd been playing baseball and I got hit in the back of the head with a bat while playing backcatcher. That one was good for two days off, with no questions asked.

If you're going to lie to get out of work, I say lie big, it's the least you can do. Not having to work is definitely worth the couple of minutes it takes to think of a real creative excuse.

And if you work at a place that calls you in at random times to fill shifts I have the perfect excuse. When they say, "Hey, so-and-so called in sick. Could you come in right away?" You reply back with, "I'd love to help you out, but I've had a few too many drinks today." It's fool-proof! They aren't going to want you coming in all loaded and it's not like they can tell you that you can't drink on your own time. Use it next time they try to call you in. IT WORKS!!