Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My Vomit Senses Are Tinging!

All the really cool super heroes always have equally cool powers. Superman can jump buildings, fly and is superstrong. Spiderman has spidey senses. The Incredible Hulk gets incredibly angry.

I also have a super power. Vomit Senses. No matter what time it is or what I'm doing I instantly snap into action whenever vomit spews.

The other night at around 1:00am I was sound asleep when from the dark I was woken by, "BLEEEEAAAAACH!!! [-splat-]."

Dum Da Da Daaaa!! CanadaDad to the rescue.

Immediately I sit bolt upright in bed and announce to no one in particular in my most superhero voice, "Someone's Puking!"

My adrenaline is pumping, I've gone from dead sleep to full alert in no time flat.

I jump out of bed to find out which of my damsels are in distress. I rushed to the bathroom, clicked on the light and head to Number One and Number Two's bedroom prepared for a revolting mess. Number One was not in her bed. Whew! Looks like I dodged a bullet on that one. I was sure I was going to be cleaning up a couple of liters of puke from her bed/sheets/floor/clothes/self.

I turned around and headed to the bathroom to help get Number One through her ordeal, and allow us to go back to bed. I was expecting to see Number One kneeling beside the toilet in the standard vomit pose but instead I found her sitting on the toilet barfing all over the floor, wall and herself. All I was thinking was "WHY?" She just sat there puking over and over with no interest in the mess being made. I finally convinced her to at least use the garbage can by telling her I wasn't going to clean it up for her if she didn't direct the vomit somewhere more user friendly. So at least that last half-mouthful of sick didn't end up on the floor. I got her changed and sent her off to bed. I then cleaned up the horrific crime scene and returned to bed.

Another vomitting episode handled courtesy of your friendly neighborhood CanadaDad!

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