Sleep Walking

When I was about 14-16 years old I used to have a problem with sleep walking.

There were a number of times when I would wake up standing in complete darkness in my room and then have to get my bearings, bumping into walls and such, until I could get myself back into bed. Once I woke up in front of the mirror and just about shit myself thinking there was someone else in the room. These were fairly uneventful sleepwalking episodes. However, there were two nights that really stand out.

The first episode happened one night when I had a friend sleeping over. I got up in the middle of the night and walked in to my parents bedroom and announced that "The chicken is here". This quickly woke my parents up. Then my mom asks, "What?" So I repeated, "The chicken is here". My Dad confessed the next morning that he was completely freaked out at this point, I think he thought I'd become possessed. Then Mom asked me what I meant. I started to explain that the KFC guy was at the door with the chicken and I needed some money to pay the guy. As I was saying this I started to come to my senses, realizing that what I was saying was utter nonsense. I then returned to my room and went back to sleep.

We all had a pretty good laugh about that one for a while. For weeks afterwards I would randomly start walking like a zombie saying, "Chicken's Here" and everyone would crack up.

The other standout was by far the most confusing time ever. I woke up one night standing in complete darkness. I didn't know where I was or how I got there. All I did know was that I had to go to the bathroom. Before I could go pee I had to try and figure out exactly where I was. For some reason I was pretty sure I was downstairs at the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, which meant the fridge should be right in front of me. No problem. I figured if I opened the fridge the light would come on and I could see where I was and I would be on my way. I reached out to open the fridge but my hand kept hitting a wooden door (this turned out to be my sisters bedroom door). I decided that I must not be in front of the fridge after all so I turned and tried my luck elsewhere. I started feeling around and thought I'd found the couch. When I pushed down on it it was soft and springy. This was actually my sisters bed. Luckily she didn't wake up, otherwise there might have been some screaming going on. Still believing myself to be next to the couch downstairs I turned towards the direction of the stairway and immediately smacked into that door again. This made me realize that I definitely was not standing next to the couch downstairs. I turned a little bit more and ran into a wall. What was this? A closet?

After bonking off of a few more walls and making very little headway I heard a small voice say, "Who's out there?" It was my Grandma. Oh yeah, my Grandparents were staying with us and were sleeping in my parents room. "It's me", I replied. "What are you doing?" she asked. Hmmm, what was I doing? What should I say? "I'm lost," I answered.

When she opened her bedroom door, some light was cast upon the hallway. Suddenly everything snapped into place. I was in the upstairs hallway between my sisters room and the bathroom. This wasn't even close to where I thought I was! I staggered into my bedroom and went back to sleep. I didn't even bother going to the bathroom. I didn't want to risk getting lost again on the way back.

Those were good times!

I still wake up doing strange things but I usually stay in the bed these days. One of my regular things to do now is to wake up thinking I just saw a spider in or around the bed. This usually results in me springing up and sweeping the bed with my hands, shaking the sheets or smacking the bed or walls. I'm usually good for one of those a couple times a year. Jules must enjoy those!

No matter how big or small the episode is, once I come to my senses I always have a good laugh at myself.