Monday, February 11, 2008

A Letter To My Van

Dear Van,

It seems like ages since we first invited you in to our home back in June of 2006. You were the perfect fit for us. Back then you were so clean and reliable. We chose you because you had so much to offer the kids, what with your three rows of seats and your sliding door.

Do you remember the early days? Driving down the highway on a hot summer day without a care in the world. We used to go on picnics and road trips. We used to drive around just for the sake of driving around. Remember how much fun we used to have? I miss those days. Don't you?

In the beginning we had a give and take relationship. I'd give you gas and you'd take us from here to there. It seems that for the last year or so I've been doing all of the giving and you've been doing all the taking. We give and give but all we get in return is heartache and pain.

In the early days I was able to overlook your gas addiction. Every vehicle uses gas, and I can accept that, but you seem to be abusing gas. Every time we start you up you seem to need another 'fix' from the 'dealer' down the street. Now we find ourselves supporting a $30-$40 a week habit. We simply can't keep this up much longer.

We've put up with your incessant demands for new parts, but it's never enough for you. Is it? You can't just be happy with a new battery, can you? No! You always need MORE! Got to have an alternator and a starter and a water pump!

Do you know what I want?!

I want a vehicle that runs. That's all!! Just a little reliability. Do I ever get what I want?! FUCK NO!!

I have to deal with all of your bullshit all the time. If you don't get things your way what do you do?? You just sit there like a baby. You don't go anywhere. You don't even start!! What is with THAT!?

I spend months buying you parts and getting things fixed up for you and what thanks do I get??

I get a driver side door that won't close!! Thanks a lot!

So, I hope you're having a nice time today sitting in the driveway doing nothing! You just enjoy yourself. Don't worry about me (Like that ever happens!).

I just want you to know you can't just keep treating people like that! One of these days you're going to find me sitting in the drivers seat of another car. Then it will be too late. You'll have no one to blame but yourself. I can only take so much abuse.

You've changed, van. You've changed.

P.S.: Sometimes I fantasize about someone smashing into you. How does THAT make you feel?

1 comment:

Sir RantsAlot said...

Hi Canadad,

Just wanted to say that I enjoyed your aticle and wish you the best of luck with your van.

I've been there too. You forgot to mention their penchant for rusting sneakily behind your back and collecting unaccountable dents when you aren't looking.

Sir RantsAlot