Monday, May 14, 2007

My 9-Year Old Is Trying to Make Me Insane!!

I believe that every child in the world has one special talent. Something that makes them special. One little thing that they can do better that anyone else. My oldest kid is a perfect example of this. Nobody can ruin a weekend like my daughter "#1".

I come home from work on Friday afternoons as happy as can be. I'm looking forward to my two days off at home with the family. I've been looking forward to this all week. I've got all sorts of ideas of things I'd like to get accomplished and fun ideas for things to do with the kids. After five minutes of exposure to "#1" I just want to go back to work.

It's always something with her! She is constantly in a snit/pout over something.

Usually, we order pizza on Friday nights. What better way to kick off the weekend? What kid thinks ordering pizza is a bad idea? #1 does. This is where things start to go downhill.

If we're having pizza she wants McDonalds. This is the first in a long series of conniption fits. When she finally realizes that it's going to be pizza regardless of what she wants, the problem becomes the pizza choice. She wants Pizza Hut and we want REAL pizza. "Wah! Wah! Oh the tragedy!" If we get the kids cheese pizza, she wants pepperoni. If we get pepperoni, she only wants cheese. When the food arrives the issue becomes the beverage. It's either not what she wants or she's not getting as much as she wants. Then it becomes a fight over who gets to sit where. Life is so unfair!

You might think we could have avoided the problem by going to McDonalds instead. Well, you would think so wouldn't you? No way. McDonalds just causes a slight variation on the same crap. She always tries to "up" everything. Two cheeseburger meal instead of a happy meal. Milkshake instead of pop. Apple pie? And do you think she would ever be happy with the toy we have to purchase separately because you only get toys with the Happy Meals? Hell no!! Either it's a lame toy or one of her sisters got a better one.

Next, horror of horrors, we won't let her watch "her show". Like Jules and I have any interest in watching that crap while we eat. Forget about the fact that she's had complete control over the TV since she got home from school. Watching 'her shows' is a continuous complaint that starts Friday afternoon and goes non-stop right up until Sunday night. Will she ever shut up?? We have 4 TV's but she would rather sit in the living room and sulk than go to another room and watch a show. That really tells you how important that program really is to her. I'm pretty sure she gets more enjoyment from making other people watch that shit than she gets from actually watching the show!

And on and on it goes until bedtime. Meanwhile any plans I had of going to the park or doing anything fun have gone out the window. The last thing I want to do is reward that kind of behavior and frankly by this point I'm in a pissy mood.

The entire weekend follows the same pattern. She whines and complains about something and gets in a snit until something new comes up that she can whine and complain about.

I took the kids to the park on Saturday afternoon after being harassed about it all day. When we got there #1 just wanted to ride her bike in the paddling pool. I wouldn't let her do that so it was time to go into full pout mode. Apparently that was the only reason she wanted to go to the park. She couldn't possibly just go to the park and have fun on the playground like everybody else. Noooooo, she had to have a big problem and then just want to go home. That was lots of fun. Let's do that again real soon.

A new favorite of mine is when she screams at her sisters to, "GET OUT OF MY ROOM", over and over again as loud as she can. I guess that is much easier than closing the door!! You can never get tired of that good wholesome family fun!

And then there's homework on Sunday. It's like the cherry on top of every weekend. Every weekend she has to write down 10 things that they did at school on the previous week. The way she carries on you would think that it was a 1000 page essay!! Doing this bit of homework induces incredibly agony and torture. She can use up an entire afternoon writing these 10 things. And suffering wouldn't be suffering unless you can spread it around to everybody in the house. Yes sir, these are golden days indeed.

So here I am back at work and for some unexplainable some reason I'm looking forward to the weekend again. I find myself thinking, "This weekend is a long weekend it should be fun". When will I learn?

Oh well, in a few weeks it will be time for summer holidays. (shudder)

1 comment:

The Complaints Depot said...

She's already got me insane! and as for summer holidays....I'm SOOOOO looking forward to the complaints, crys, pouting, back-talking for 2 months. By the end of the summer all my hair will have fallen out, or gone grey. Can we say BOOT CAMP!!!